So Much for Capitalism

I've been having problems with my garbage pick up lately. Well, since we've moved here actually. The problem was that sometimes they would pick up my trash, and sometimes they wouldn't. Sometimes they would take some of it and sometimes all. For some reason I never made the connection about whether or not it was in a can or not. Anyway, I finally got around to calling the utility company the other day. Here's a basic rundown of how the conversation went.

them: "thank you for calling blah-biddy blah"

me: "Yes, you guys aren't always getting my trash, I was wondering why not?"

them: "Is it in a bag?"

me: "Uh, yeah"--(I thought that was a silly question myself but I suppose they have to get all the information they can...)

them: "Is it in a trash container?"

me: "Yeah, usually."

them: "That's the problem."

me: "What do mean 'That's the problem?"

them: "The collectors won't pick it up if it's in a trash can."

me: (thinking that was rather silly)"Why not?"

them: "It's against policy"

me: "Why?"

them "It just is, sir. I'm not really sure why."

me: "But there are a lot of stray animals around here I don't just leave the bags out because they tend to tear the trash apart."

---NOTE---The stray animal thing is another issue. It's not like I live out in the backwoods, I live in a nice subdivision. I just have a few neighbors that don't watch their animals.

them: "I'm sorry sir, they won't pick it up if it's in a can."

---NOTE---At this point most rational people would have left it at that and begun thinking of another solution. But I'm rarely a rational person. If I'm not getting the service that I feel I'm paying for, I wanna know why.

me: "Well are they gonna pick up the trash off the ground when the strays strew it out all over the yard and street?"

them: (Obvious answer)Well, no sir I'm afraid not."

me: (Getting really agitated)So you're telling me that I can't put it in a trash can, but if the animals get into they won't pick it up either?"

them: "Well, sir...why dont' you just try waiting until right before the pick up truck gets there and then take it out?"

---NOTE---At this point, I'm beyond irritated, and that was just the wrong thing to say to me at this time.

me: "BECAUSE I HAVE A LIFE YOU TWIT!! I WORK, SOMETHING IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'RE PICK UP PEOPLE DON'T DO MUCH OF!! I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN SIT OUTSIDE MY FRON DOOR AND WAIT FOR THE GARBAGE TRUCK TO COME BY SO I CAN RUN OUT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH MY TRASH!!! I WORK ONE OF TWO SHIFTS. I EITHER GO IN AT 5AM (well before the truck comes by) OR I WORK THE SECOND SHIFT AND DON'T GET HOME UNTIL LATE IN WHICH CASE I HAVE NO INCLING IN GETTING UP AT 6:30 AND WAITING FOR THE TRUCK TO COME BY JUST SO I CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP YOU MORON!!!! (especially since the truck doesn't appear to be on any kind of regular schedule and just comes by when they feel like it)

them: "Sir, you don't have to be a jerk, it's not my fault."

me: (calmly again)"Let me speak to your supervisor."

them: "Excuse me?"

me: "Your supervisor please, I'd like to talk to him."

them: "My supervisor?"

me: (quickly irritated again)"Yeah, your S-U-P-E-R-V-I-S-O-R. You do have a boss don't you?"

them: (in an obnoxiouse tone)"One moment sir."

super: "This is blah-biddy, can I help you."

me: "Yeah, I wanna cancel my garbage service."

super: "Excuse me?"

---I then explained the previouse encounter, after which he affirmed the garbagemen/women would not pick up my trash in a container.

me: "So I wanna cancel my garbage service, and just pay the water." (My water and garbage are on the same bill) If I have to go through all that trouble anyway I'll just buy a permit and take my trash to the city dump myself."

them: "Well sir, I'm afraid we can't do that."

me: "Excuse me?"

them: "Well, the two services are on one account. If we cancel the garbage we have to cancel the water service also. There's no way around it I'm afraid." (sounding very uppity)

me: "So you mean to tell me I have no choice but to pay for a service that I can't/won't use?"

them: (In an incredibly obnoxiouse tone)"Well, yes sir. Only if you want to keep your water on."

me: "Okay, who can I complain to about this?"

them: "Well, I'm the supervisor...."

me "Okay, who's your boss?"

them: "Well sir...they're gonna tell you the same thing...."

me "I DON'T GIVE A DEAD ROTTED BURNING IN HELL RAT'S ARSE WHAT YOU THINK THEY'RE GOING TO TELL ME GIVE YOU'RE BOSSES CONTACT INFORMATION PLEASE YOU LITTLE JACK-ASS!!!" (Yes those were the words I used...)

---He gives me some contact information---

them: "There, is there anything else I can do for you sir?" (not said in a friendly customer service voice)

me: (Well beyond the highest level of pisstivity) "Yeah, tell your wife and my kids I said hi. Hey did you know you're wifes toes curl when she has an orgasm....I didn't think so."

---The lovely Mrs. wasn't too thrilled about that last comment as you can imagine---

So, basically I' screwed. I'm using a public utility with no competition. Not only can I not take my business elsewhere because of crappy service, but I have to continue paying for a service I don't even want anymore. Geez, I thought this was America....communism anyone? Because this is what the liberals want. The socialization of just about everything. See, to them competition is a bad thing. You think we live a free capitalist society my friends? Think again. They're slowly winning one service at a time. And they're a whole lot closer to their goal than you care to think. Sleep well my friends.