Oh yeah,

Who's the tard that signed me up for those f'ing chinese ads and newsletters?? Really f'ing hilariouse. Damned riot a minute let me tell you. And why pray-tell do I not just unsubscribe from these said newsletters? Well I'll tell you. Cuz they're all in F*****G CHINESE!!!!! And there are so many links I can't figure out which one is the unsubscribe link!! So thanks to whoever signed me up...dumbass.

Oh yeah, I got this email recently too. The amazing part is somebody is actually dumb enough to fall for this:

FROM: MARTINS D. JOHNSON
ABIDJAN COTE D’IVOIRE
WEST AFRICA
ATTN: DEAR ONE


It is my pleasure to write you, pending on this
business proposal. It may be strange to you of whom I
am and how I got your contact. However, I am Mr
Martins D. Johnson a citizen of republic of Liberia.
Also I am the accountant general / treasurer of the
then republic of Liberia I am 47 years of age and
happily married. I got your contact through a reliable
and a confident source with pleasant motives which I
shall reveal to you as soon as you are interested to
know.
As you must have heard about my country (LIBERIA)
and the serious suffering for humanity and the
national unrest killing and hostility in the hands of
the rebels this event have caused much more death and
destruction of properties in the country. As a matter
of fact my people have become emergency refugees in
other African countries. Consequently I am badly
affected because the rebels needed my assistance and
co-operation by releasing the national treasury
department to them which I Strictly refused their
entry. Therefore out of my four children two was
kidnapped including my father and they were eventually
killed by the rebels. Further more, all my investments
and other asst were burst to pieces. Even my life and
my wife and rest of my family are in danger. But it
was not only me in the government facing this hard
time, all the top government official were also
maltreated after all these,

I patiently continued but I now see it necessary to
quit Africa with my family since the
trouble never make any step of reconciliation and
Africa continent is very unreliable now as there’s
political and ethnic war in every part. Presently, I
am taking refugee with my family in Abidjan Côte
d’Ivoire under the United Nations refugee umbrella.

Unfortunately Côte d’Ivoire is Having
political unrest and many equally burst to pieces
soonest, so I am tired and sincerely need your support
and assurance to invest wisely and relocate to your
country through your productive ideas and qualities.

I have $18.5 million US dollar to be invested in your
country though your support and this existing amount
is right safe and presently not in LIBERIA but
lodged in one of the prime banks some where around
west Africa region which I may disclose to you as soon
as I receive your complacence.

I would be contented to have your private contact for
security reasons and I am very optimistic to release a
reasonable percentage of this amount to you for your
assistance.

I anticipate your speedy response remain.
Please kindly contact me immediately you receive this
message through my my electronic box .

Yours sincerely.

MARTINS D. JOHNSON